As an introvert, navigating daily life presents challenges, and my camera helps me do this. I’d be lost without a camera in my hand. Does being an introvert hinder my photography ability? As my camera is, in effect, my comfort blanket, I don’t think it’s me that’s connecting with the people on the streets or the other photographers that I interact with. It’s my hidden personality. I’m like Jekyll and Hyde; the real me isn’t the person most people see. So no, being an introvert doesn’t affect my ability to enjoy photography. If anything, I believe it helps me. I know my place in this world or should that be I’ve accepted my place in this world.
Being an introvert allows me to blend in. I’m able to become invisible to others; nobody really notices me, or at least that’s what I tell myself. The camera gives me a feeling of invincibility, which then allows me to interact with others. The camera, for me, has so much power. When I’m on the streets, I’m relaxed and focused. The feeling of being vulnerable disappears. This then allows my hidden personality to come forward and take over at the steering wheel. You see, when I’m at home, I love to sit quietly in a corner and just be still. I don’t talk or move; I just enjoy the silence. The trouble with the introvert side of me is that I start to overthink everything, and that’s when the anxiety and depression kick in. As I’ve said before, that’s when I turn to one of three things that mean something to me and make life worth living: movies, music, and, of course, photography.
I think most artists are introverts; you have to be to be able to create great work. Art, any kind of art, is an introvert’s way of coping with life. Without the creativity, we would be lost. It’s crazy to me when I start to think about how open and different I am when I’m on the streets with my camera. If you know me, you would never in a million years say I was an introvert, and if I told you I was, you’d probably start laughing. As with most people that are dealing with severe mental health issues, you’d never know it; we are very good at wearing masks that hide who we really are. That’s why so many people are surprised when a friend or family member takes their own life; you really do need to understand how hard it is to navigate each day and how tiring it is to wear a mask and pretend to be someone you’re not.
Being able to sit still and just watch helps me when I’m photographing. As an introvert, I’m able to be patient when doing photography. It’s why I’m able to wait in one location for hours. My mind when I’m on the street is almost empty. Again, this is another reason why I’m able to see moments as they happen, and it’s why I’m able to react so quickly. Don’t get me wrong here, I have days when I just can’t focus and I start to feel depressed and defeated, yet tomorrow is another day and I need to keep telling myself that.
Being an introvert doesn’t stop me from doing photography. I believe it’s what drives my passion for photography. Unfortunately, it has stopped other aspects of my daily life, including sleep. Being an introvert is a big reason why I’ve removed myself from all social media. I just can’t deal with it. I can’t seem to stop looking and wishing I had the life others seem to be enjoying. It’s hard to believe my mind when it tells me what I’m seeing is all fake and those people don’t have perfect lives. It’s all for show. I used to spend hours watching pointless things. I realised social media was just a distraction from reality and since I’ve cut it out I’m feeling much more relaxed and calm.
I’m turning all the noise off and focusing on my wife, son and me.
A few photos of places that bring me a sense of peace.
